I Thought I Was Stronger
by ValerieKathryn
Summary: Lucette is a French girl by heritage, home, and heart. When she is forced to move to the tiny town of La Push, Washington in the U.S. how will she be able to cope? PaulxOC rated T because im paranoid. story is better than summary btw
1. Chapter 1

Tears slid silently down my cheeks as I let the thin blade slice my skin. I didn't cut my wrists. That would be much too obvious. I cut my ribcage. Right beneath my boobs. So easy to hide, considering I was 14 and not taking my shirt off for anyone.

If anyone knew, they wouldn't understand. Couldn't understand. I'm depressed, but I'm a good actress. People who cut their wrists want everyone to know they're depressed. I'd rather no one did. I go through every day as I always have, smiling and laughing and skipping classes. The happiness is just bullshit, though. I go to a performing arts high school, where everyone can act. Why they can't tell I'm acting is beyond me.

But all of that is about to change. I've lived here in Paris my entire life. I speak French, my friends are French, I even _wear _French. Anything French is all I know. But now, my parents think I need a 'reality check.' I'm moving to La Push, Washington, into our winter cottage. Now I understand why my parents made me learn English a few years ago. They've been planning this. I can tell.

That's why I'm hurting myself. Again. I haven't done this in two weeks, but hearing the news of my leaving Paris has brought me down to a new low.

"Shit." I cussed under my breath as a gleaming drop of blood fell down onto the white carpet. Well, that was going to take some work to get out.

I stumbled into the shower, almost forgetting to take off my socks. I let out a feral hiss as the steaming water hit the fresh wounds. Never gets fucking old.

I sat down and let the water pound my tense shoulders and let my mind wander. Usually not the safest thing, but this time it was…kind-of pleasant.

When I got off the plane in Port Angeles, I would be picked up by Melinda, my new housekeeper/babysitter/legal guardian. I've never even met the woman. But people come into your life for a reason, you just don't know why until they're gone or yours forever. Let's just hope this is going to be good.

I remember the Quileute boys…delicious. I used to hang out with one of them, Collin maybe, all the time when we were up there. Now I would get to see him at school every day. And if my memory serves me right, even three years ago Collin was pretty damn stunning. But then there's all the older boys…this is going to be fun.

_Maybe you'll stop the cutting. It only gets worse, you know._ Ugh. Stupid logical side of my brain. I do as I feel.

After taking the time to deep condition my thick, wavy mahogany hair and pluck my eyebrows, I started to wrap my chest with gauze. I flinched as the material rubbed the wrong way. I threw on my white terry cloth robe, and rubbed some mousse into my hair. I flipped my head up-side down and took the time to diffuse and blow dry. Flipping my head back up and patting down flyaways with smoothing balm, I sprayed my hair with shine spray and stuck my always-present barrette into it.

My biological mother gave it to me the day she left, when I was six years old. Intricately placed crystals on pure silver surrounded three beautiful pearls, in a design that looked like a lily. **(.com/product_details_ i did my best describing it) **I always pinned back the hair behind my right ear, so my bangs on the other side hung down over my left eye.

People always gawked over my eyes. They were a deep violet that faded into black at the edges. I didn't think they were that special, but they were extremely rare. Most new people thought I had contacts. Either way, I kind of hated them. They seemed so boring, so...unattractive.

I flipped open my lighter, and put the tip of my eyeliner into the flame. I quickly rimmed my left eye with the thick, smoky liner, and repeated the same with my right eye. Smudging the top with my finger and examining myself in the mirror, I was satisfied. The makeup made me feel so much…sexier. Only if it was a tiny bit of eyeliner.

I threw on the outfit I had lain out last night. Dark, slimming skinny jeans, a low-cut long-sleeved black top, black stilettos, and a pair of diamond and pearl little hoop earrings with a matching long necklace. I was rich, to say the least. Grabbing my Chanel tote and iPhone, I looked around my room for the last time. It was so bare now, the white walls no longer covered with posters of shirtless American male models. I almost let a tear escape as I shut the door, but I mentally slapped myself before it fell. I would miss this house.

Once at the airport, I had two hours before my flight took off. Damn delays. I sipped my cappuccino slowly, savoring the authentic taste. I wouldn't get many more of these once I got to the U.S. I sat waiting, reading my battered paperback version of Jane Eyre. I could read it over and over again, never getting tired of the twisting plotline. I wish I had lived in that century, of long dresses and elaborate curls. The finest silks and gems I'd have adorned.

But I lived in the 21st century, depressing as it was.

I was almost finished with the book when I heard boarding for my flight being called.

_Here we go._


	2. Chapter 2

As the plane landed at Port Angeles Airport, the adrenaline kicked in. I was actually going to live in America, speak the language, and know the people. Then a thought came to my head:

_Can I handle being alone in a country I don't know? I'm only 14. I've never NOT lived with my dad and Julia. How will I handle this?_

But I ignored that thought for the moment, as I saw who I'd be living with until…well, until I was legal.

Blonde, short, plump, and very pretty. She had a huge, jubilant smile on her face as she saw me approach.

"Miss Lucette Cerise?" She called out to me.

"Oui. Melinda, I presume?"

"Yes. Come over here, I don't do handshakes." She pulled me into a hug, squeezing me so hard I could barely breathe. I liked her already.

We talked nonstop in the car on the way to La Push. I don't think I've ever voluntarily talked that much before. Melinda was 29, recently divorced, and was a child advocate. She wouldn't be home that often, which was more than I was used to. I could tell this was going to work out well.

When we pulled up to the little house, I couldn't help but think of it as home. I always loved coming here when I was younger, but I hated the fact that it kept me away from my France. Actually, about the time I stopped coming here was when the depression started…

I booked it out of the little old yellow Bug and spun around in the rain, laughing like a maniac. I was truly home.

**Collin POV**

I had just gotten home from patrolling all night when I heard a car pull up to the French family's little cottage next door. What the…? They hadn't come here in years! Maybe they sold it or something. Then again, it never had a For Sale sign up. So…they must be back. But why?

I peeked out the window to see a beautiful girl dancing around in the rain. That hair…Lucette. She was the only person I ever knew with hair quite that color. I gaped when she turned toward me. She had changed a lot in three years. Then again…so had I.

Instinct took over, and I bounded outside and through the yard.

"Lucette? Is that really you?" I called out. She spun around, a smile still on her face.

"Oh my God. Collin?" she ran toward me, tackling me into a hug. I caught her weight easily, looking down into her violet eyes.

Nothing.

No imprint.

_Well, I guess I am glad I didn't. I have too much of a history with her._

"Hey! Where have you been for the last three years?"

"Oh, yanno. France as usual. Perfecting my shitty English." She smiled oh-too-innocently.

"Great. You even learned swears. I liked the profanity-free you better." She stuck her tongue out at me when I said this, scrunching up her face attractively *sarcasm*.

"I missed you." I said laughing, pulling her in for another hug.

She invited me into her house, and we got talking, catching up on everything that had happened while she was gone. The hours ticked away, until I realized I was supposed to go on patrol 20 minutes ago.

"Shit." I muttered, standing up abruptly. "I, uh…"

Just then, I heard Paul of all people calling for me. I looked out the window, right as he caught my sight. He came storming over to the cottage, and I pulled outside and stopped him before he ripped the door down.

"What the hell, kid? You're 20 fucking minutes late. I want to fucking sleep but I can't because you never fucking showed up. You're so fucking dead, little boy…" Paul said menacingly, his voice starting low but got up to shouting.

Someone cleared their throat inside the house.

"I don't care for people who come into my house uninvited and threaten my friends. So apologize and get your dumb ass out of here. _Now._" Lucette spoke low and threateningly, and stayed controlled as she stared Paul down. I saw her eyes waver for a moment. Was that…love I saw?

I whipped around to face Paul, but his eyes were locked into someone else's.

Fuck no. He _imprinted_.


	3. Chapter 3

This is what I've been missing. Him. The jackass who stormed into my house. I couldn't help but feel something for him, though. I let my composure break for half a second and damn it, I think Collin noticed. He must've, considering his eyes widened, looking back and forth between me and this…man? Boy? He had to be at _least_ 19, if not older. But there was something about him…a child wanting to escape from this man's body. But he couldn't. He was being held back by himself.

_Well, I'll just have to change that._

Whoa, whoa. Since when did I start caring about people I didn't know? I swallowed, not wanting the man to leave but I don't think we could fit someone of his size in this little house.

"Are you going to stay and stare at me or leave already?" I snapped.

"I-uh…"

"C'mon, man. Let's get you to Sam." Collin half-waved goodbye, closing the door quietly behind them.

Ummmmmm…what the hell was that?

**Paul POV**

When Collin pulled me away from_ her_, I wanted to kill him again. I needed to see her again…my imprint. The one I've been waiting for my entire life. Who I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. We phased quickly, knowing Sam would be very interested in this.

_Paul, what are you doing back? Your shift ended…oh._ Sam saw everything that had just went down back at the little cottage.

_Way to screw it up from the beginning, Paulie boy. She'll hate you forever now. _Damn Jared. When I started to advance toward him, fully prepared to rip out his hamstrings, he immediately backed off. _I'm just kidding, man. Congrats._

Sam was distressed at the news of my imprinting, although he still congratulated me. _How can this happen so often? Imprinting is supposed to be rare. That's six people now. Me, Jared, Jacob, Quil, Seth, Brady, and now you…what the hell is happening in this town?_

I barked out a laugh. _Well, considering they have a small mutated wolf problem, this is probably normal…_

Everyone turned to stare at me, their thoughts silent. I never joked around, always the pissed off pessimist. I guess finding _her_ had made me a more optimistic person. And I don't even know her name…

_Lucette Cerise._ Collin provided. _Her family owns that cottage. They used to stay at it for a few weeks every winter, but they stopped coming three years ago. They live in Paris. As in, France. Her parents sent her to live here with a housekeeper until she is 18 and decides whether or not she wants to stay here or go back to France. She said that she missed coming here, because it always felt like she was actually home. Ha. And she's only 14, so have fun with that one._

Fuck. That meant she was going to be a freshman, and I was a junior. But I was already 17, turning 18 next summer. Enough of an age difference to make it seem like all I wanted was sex. Which I wouldn't mind someday…right now I just wanted to run back to the house and sweep her up into my arms. Kiss her, love her, have her moaning my name…

_Dude. Will you shut it? I've known her since I was like, four. I don't really want to think about her that way. She's more of a sister to me than anything else. Anyways, your shift ended over half an hour ago, as you _kindly_ reminded me before._

Oh. Right.

I phased back, already running toward her house before I had my pants completely on. When I got there, all the lights were out. It was only 9:30! I stayed for a few minutes, just listening to her heartbeat, when it increased suddenly. The window slid open silently, and out came the love of my life dressed like…a ninja. A very sexy ninja, though.

Black tight pants, black leather boots, and a black jacket. All skintight, and madly sexy. I wanted to run over and hold her, never having to let go. I was so caught up in my…fantasies, that I barely noticed when she started to come my way. I slipped behind a tree, silent and stealthy.

She passed by almost soundlessly, never suspecting anyone's presence. Once she got deeper into the forest she took off sprinting. How the hell did she know where she was going? It was the blackest night I'd ever seen in my life.

I followed her for a while until she took an abrupt stop in a small clearing. It was beautiful, with a small shallow pond and a bench underneath a weeping willow. We'd gone through here a few times on routine patrols, though we never knew whose it was.

At that moment, the moon decided to shine through the dark clouds, lighting up our surroundings. When she turned and sat on the bench, the moon lit up her beautiful face. And then I noticed tears start to gently glide down from her eyes.

Those eyes. So capturing, so enthralling. I'd never seen anything as stunning in my life. They would look unnatural on anyone else, but on her, on Lucette, they looked like violets blooming in her eyes.

Just when I decided this was a little stalker-ish and was going to leave, she abruptly stood.

"What the _hell_ do you want with me?"


	4. Chapter 4

"What the _hell _do you want with me?"

This stalker had followed me into the woods. He had probably been fucking _watching_ me since he left. Little creeper didn't know who he was messing with.

"I said, what the hell do you want jackass?" I was getting really pissed now, as he was just standing there staring at me.

He took a few steps forward, stopping no more than a foot from me. I skittered back a yard or so, even when I really wanted to be closing the gap between us.

He stuck his hand out for me to shake. "I'm Paul." He smiled, not trying to be creepy but actually nice.

"That's great to know. _Really. _Now why are you here again? This is the third time I've had to ask." I scrutinized him, trying to look disapproving.

But damn, he was sexy. Only wearing a pair of cutoff shorts and sneakers, I was about to drool. His abs…*faint*.

His eyes caught mine roaming his body, and I flushed with heat. Oh _no._ This wasn't happening right now. But the things his eyes could do to me…I felt hot all over, and subconsciously moved closer until we were only inches apart. I had to look up about a foot and a half to keep our eyes locked, but I didn't mind the kink forming in my neck.

Paul moved a lock of hair from my face, leaning down to whisper in my ear. His warm breath tickled me, but turned me on.

"You know, Lucette, I've been looking forward to an actual conversation with you all night. And I don't like to be yelled at, and I know you don't like yelling at me. Your words may say 'hate' but your eyes don't lie." I gulped after he said this. How did he know me so well? I was an ACTRESS for god's sake. He shouldn't be able to see through my façade. Yet somehow he did…and I didn't mind at all.

**Paul POV**

I heard her heartbeat increase when we moved closer. She couldn't resist the imprint…and at this point, neither could I. I leaned into Lucette closer, just barely brushing my lips against hers. She fell into to it for a moment, but then her previous 'feelings' came reeling back.

She shoved me away, looking at me with disgust. "What the _hell, _Paul? First you storm into my house and now you fucking _violate _me? Pedophile!" and with that Lucette ran off into the woods.

_That could've gone a smidge better…_

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**_sorry this chapter is so short...ive been trying to update daily. I LOVE ALL OF YOU READERS! seriously, on the first 3 chapters i got over 200 visitors. THATS THE BEST ANY OF MY STORIES HAVE EVER DONEEEE! _**

__**i love you, review **


	5. Chapter 5

Ugh, what the fuck was _with _this Paul guy? He storms into my house looking like he wants to kill my only friend here, and then he follows me into the woods. And kisses me… I blush remembering the sweet moment. Wait. What the hell was I doing? I can't feel something for him. Just no. He's probably like 28 or something!

But as I slipped back in my window, I couldn't help but let my thoughts linger on him. He was just so...I don't even have words for him. I was still thinking of him while I fell asleep, getting sucked into a dream.

_"Lucette. There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while…" I sat between Paul's legs on the forest floor, letting him trace patterns on my stomach. I leaned on his chest, letting the heat engulf me._

_"Yes?" I asked innocently when he didn't say anything._

_I turned toward him a little, our gazes meeting. He gulped, clearly nervous. "I…I love you, Lucette, don't ever forget it."_

_I was about to lean forward and kiss him with as much force as humanly possible, but I was knocked back into the sand. What the hell?_

_I looked up to find a wolf completely tearing apart a person._

_"Paul!" I cried out, but as I looked closer the person being killed wasn't him. It wasn't even human…_

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**IM SO SORRRYYYYY! ik i havent updated in a long time and this is such a short chapter ive just been really stressed out lately and i havent had any time to do anything i want...plus i got grounded. apparently sneaking out to see your boyfriend at 3am is a bad thing. i dont know, i thought it was pretty awesome.**

**yeah, i'm aware, i owe you guys a long-ass chapter and three thousand cheesecakes apiece. the first one will be up soon (hopefully!) and the second one...foregt i ever said that, kay?**

**love you all, review pleasee :D **


	6. Chapter 6

**_Yeah yeah yeahh...its been a damn long time. here it is lovers :)_**

I awoke abruptly, heart beating throughout my body. I was drenched in sweat. And I couldn't remember the end of that dream…that dream. What happened? I was with Paul, but then it disappeared.

I remembered…walking through the woods. There was a river, and I wanted to swim in it. But…Paul wouldn't swim with me. He said he couldn't for some reason. I sat on the other side, just on the shore, tempting him to swim across to get to me. He was shaking…and then I remember an ice cold hand being placed upon my back. And then I just can't remember anymore…

"Ungh." I rolled over, expecting to land on more bed, but instead my face made contact with hard wooden floor. "Fucker. Great." I stood, quickly crossing the small room and stepping into my bathroom. I turned on the water as freezing cold as possible, and got in fully clothed.

Closing my eyes and sitting down, I let the frigid water pound on my shoulders. It was times like these that I wished I had never been born. I was too much of a perfectionist to deal with a flaw like this in my life. One thing goes wrong and I can't handle it.

I put my head in my hands and started to sob. Why did I agree to this? I could've refused and stayed happily in Paris, but for some reason I didn't. It's like some part of me actually wanted to come here.

_The part that sends shivers down your back when you even_ think _of Paul…_oh shut up, conscience. No one likes you.

I couldn't take this madness anymore. I had to get out of here. I was going insane in this _shack_.

I got myself together and got out of the shower, stripping off my wet clothes in the process. Not bothering to dry my hair or body, I pulled on old ripped jeans and my favorite purple sweatshirt. No shoes. I barely glanced at the clock as I slipped out the window for the second time that night.

**Paul POV**

I was officially a stalker. I sat, leaning against a tree, thoughts of Lucette filling my mind. She was my imprint-she couldn't refuse me forever.

Speaking of Lucette…

I heard footsteps coming toward me. Light and quick, like someone didn't want to be heard. When they neared my pulse increased. It was Lucette.

Did she come back to find me? Did she realize that she loved me, that her rejection was a lie? I imagined it so vividly…in a few seconds she would burst through the trees to the clearing where I sat, then jump in to my lap. I could feel her arms wrapped around my neck while hers was overtaken by my lips. She would moan my name, pulling me up from her neck and forcing her lips onto mine…

Reality wasn't that kind to me.

**Lucette POV**

The moment my feet hit the ground, I was running. Toward the trees, through the trees, light and lithe as to avoid falling. I felt wet tracks on my face, and at first I thought it was rain. But no, I was crying.

I burst into the small clearing that Paul and I-

"Paul?" What the hell? He was _still_ here? He just sat there, leaning against a tree, looking at me as if he were waiting for something to happen.

And you know what? Something did.

A sob escaped my throat, one that I hadn't realized I'd been holding in. Fresh tears streamed down my face, clouding my vision. I took off blindly ahead, sprinting just for the sake of needing to get away from the main source of my confusion. I ran for what seemed like hours, but must've only been a few minutes. I saw a break coming up in the trees, and I started to slow myself.

I didn't slow down fast enough.

As I broke out of the forest my heart skipped a beat. My feet clawed into the dirt and rock, and my body twisted back toward the trees. I slipped onto my front, and I finally stopped sliding when my legs were almost completely off the cliff.

Just my luck. I almost fell off a cliff.

A new thought entered my mind.

I had this opportunity right in front of me, and who was I not to take it? I could jump and forget everything I was worried about, and not have to come back to any of it…

Seizing the opportunity, I lifted myself up onto the sienna rocks. I took one last look into the forest before looking to what waited below. White torrents of water, and waves that must have been twenty feet high. I took a deep breath and looked up at the clear night sky, taking a single step – _down._

The stars were a beautiful last image.


End file.
